Afraid of others' opinions of you?
Two ways of thinking are biased and cause people to take things too personally.
The first is customization, which is when you think something unpleasant happened because of you even though there is little or no evidence to support that idea.
The second is your thought interpretation when you feel someone negatively judging you, especially when the situation is unclear and you haven't gotten any direct feedback.
Many everyday things show examples of these beliefs.
Even the most minor interactions can cause a thought interpretation.
If you ask for help in a seminar about the sitting arrangement, you might think they think you are not well-converse with attaining such seminar.
There are several problems with these wrong ideas.
First, they are wrong, based on feelings, personal histories, ambiguity, and information that is worse than facts.
Lastly, they limit the things you can do.
If you believe these thoughts, it can be hard to do anything other than give up, avoid, or get angry.
You can only feel sorry for yourself, apprehensive about how you'll handle social situations in the future, or upset at other people for not being more likable when you accept these skewed viewpoints.
Tendencies to take things too personally limit your emotional and behavioral options and make it more likely that you'll struggle with distress or dysfunction.
Social deception may become habitual.
Automatic thoughts are taught behaviors. They may have a history of taking responsibility for others' issues.
Thought interpretation mistakes might become your go-to thinking when things go wrong. Then they're not true.
Simply said, your mind wanders there.
Often, erroneous thinking compounds notions that an issue is your responsibility or that someone is evaluating you adversely.
With experience, you may choose which self-critical ideas to take seriously.
You'll be able to adopt more accurate views about yourself and challenging social circumstances, develop more productive strategies to handle issues or prepare for the future, and work through uncomfortable emotions.
These approaches for overcoming personalization and thought interpretation benefit you.
Separate emotions from thoughts
If you take things too personally, recognize your personalization or thought interpretation habits before determining what to do.
This isn't easy since emotions and cognition are frequently intertwined. Sensations may easily be summed up in one word - anxious, delighted, astonished, afraid – and thoughts follow or drive the feelings.
Although it's hard to modify or control painful feelings, this is crucial because you can react successfully to thought traps.
Labeling emotions and ideas help you comprehend and separate them.
Recognize that you're dealing with an idea that may or may not be accurate, then analyze the sensation that came with it.
You feel what you feel without paying attention, even if you wish you didn't.
Labeling emotions and ideas will help you question, alter, or replace your thoughts with more realistic ones.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Next time you're feeling a strong emotion, pay attention to your thoughts.
Notice your feelings and check-in. Find the notion that inspired that sensation.
The appropriate method to react to such ideas depends on their correctness and usefulness. In some cases – especially after you've practiced identifying biassed thoughts – you may quickly conclude that your mind is taunting you with personalization.
The best course of action is to accept what's happening, put up with the noise, and then turn your focus elsewhere.
If your views aren't clear or a scenario appears essential, it might be good to dispute their correctness.
List pro and con evidence
Remember that your ideas may reflect prejudices.
Consider the facts for and against your views to determine whether to remain with your initial understanding or choose a more reasonable explanation.
Writing down your views helps you collect evidence.
After some experience, you may opt to reserve writing for hard occasions, but for now, observe what occurs when you approach the task methodically.
Give your reasons for what occurred and how you felt between the incident and the sensation.
Write your evidence underneath the circumstances, ideas, and emotions.
Like a detective or scientist, take your time. List all you know that supports the nagging belief.
Write down everything that makes you doubt your ideas.
Find a non-you explanation.
Write down other explanations of the thought if it is not you to find a 'best-case' explanation.
If a supervisor cut you off during a work meeting and if you thought it was because.
"nobody takes my ideas seriously,"
an alternative explanation is that
Everyone had to return to their jobs since the meeting was very lengthy.
and the most optimistic scenario is that
When we can give it the concentrated attention it deserves, my supervisor believes my proposal has worth it and wants to discuss it later.
Read your notes. Compare your old and new ideas. Should you stay with your original evaluation or seek a more realistic one?
The idea is to help you become more balanced in your thinking so you don't commit to personalization.
After a new perspective, you may want to review your original views.
Remember that these beliefs are learned, and you can't control their appearance or persistence.
Let your brain do its job and try to perceive these sticky notions as mental noise, not truths.
These negative ideas may linger, but you don't have to engage in them.
Keep reminding yourself that going back to them would extend the conflict, and see what happens when you do so.
With time, they'll decrease.
What's helpful?
After exploring, challenging, and revising your concepts, evaluate what's next.
Write down your valuable ideas and plans, like previously.
What's practical?
Suppose you take things personally since you're a sensitive person.
In that case, you'll have a hard time dealing with elements that might help you think objectively, admit your prejudices, give yourself credit for confronting and changing your ideas, and search for alternate explanations in the future.
Proper thinking may also involve a strategy to gently let go of the temptation to overthink things and go easy on yourself for fighting with undesirable ideas and painful emotions.
It may entail clarifying a misinterpretation, strengthening communication skills, or removing other social hurdles.
Plan to address your top problems while prioritizing social behaviors.
For example, if you're not excellent at small conversation, make quick remarks about shared experiences or current events to gauge interest.
If you're worried about not engaging enough at business meetings, prepare to ask a question, share an idea, or provide support at least twice every meeting.
If you have trouble interpreting people's behavior or intentions, try being respectfully forceful and asking for clarification.
Point out what's unclear, mention the significance of understanding, say what you think the other person means, and ask for feedback.
If you decide to practice new social behavior, remember that change is challenging, so set yourself up for success with little but regular improvements.
Commit to the minor significant change you can.
If you make these improvements, you'll gain confidence in your ability to negotiate social problems, which will counteract your prejudiced assumptions.
Accept uncertainty
Social relationships are inherently ambiguous.
You can't control what people believe or read their thoughts, but you can prepare for change, practice good social behavior, and learn to endure social risk-taking.
Instead of focusing on your perceived limits or others' opinions of you, think about how you want to behave in social settings.
Focusing on what you can control will help you accept and manage what you can't: automatic thoughts and unpleasant sensations.
If you know how you want to behave in social settings and practice, you may not always be as polished or know how others respond.
You'll still have enough behavioral data to appraise yourself more favorably and avoid taking things too personally.
Trading
Revenge trading is a normal emotional reaction to a loss that often arises from taking an adverse outcome too personally.
An unfavorable outcome is always a part of the trading.
However, you may take it personally, thinking that you cannot read the market.
For you, immediate recovery may become more important, and by placing another expected-to-win transaction, you may think that losses may be recovered quickly.
Markets are hard to anticipate, however.
Not only does the new traders engage in revenge trading even the experience one often falls into this trap.
Anger, fear, guilt, and greed are behind this illogical behavior, which has afflicted every trader.
After a significant loss, you may undertake a transaction out of rage and greed.
A trader who takes the losses personally feels the urge to save face. It becomes a crucial motivator for many traders.
Usually, the trade goes against you, and you lose more.
Sometimes, traders quadruple or treble their trading position, assuming the following trade would be profitable.
Lesson
You do not influence what other people think or believe (or the market behaves). Still, you can prepare for the unexpected, engage in positive social conduct, and build the resilience to tolerate social risk.
Consider how you wish to conduct yourself in social situations (and in your daily trading routine) rather than concentrating on your perceived limitations or the views of others.
To accept and manage the things you can't control, focus on the things you can handle.
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